We might be in the golden age of FMV dating sims, but perhaps we are just on the path to nirvana. And it may take a lifetime to achieve perfection. SIFU Kidnapped! is not perfect, but it is a good spot to rest and clear your mind. It refreshes, spiritually, thanks to its great characters, top acting, nice sets, and decent baseline story. Only bad subtitles, narrative quirks, and some timeline issues prevent it from bringing true enlightenment.

Like other games, you begin as a modern worker who gets transported back into the body of a monk, Chen Yi. As a mortal, you have limited abilities, so you only help others with wisdom and sacrifice—your two loyal disciples provide the magical muscle. Unfortunately, you are immediately kidnapped by the Queen of the Women’s Kingdom. She asks you to cleanse the poisoned Zimu river, the source of pregnancies in the region. Although the queen gives you a bodyguard, this does not stop you being captured by an evil demon goddess, who wants to mate to increase her power. Luckily, a fox demon assists, and your two powerful disciples break you free.

The narrative is better than pure dating sims and basing it on Journey to the West sets up a good foundation. Unfortunately it does feel like act three is missing, as it concludes abruptly rather than naturally, still it ends better than Love is All Around 2. The time-travel aspect is mostly irrelevant, sadly, when it could have added a nice layer for interactions.

Nearly all seven love interest are fantastic. Your two disciples, Ao Bing and Sun Xiaoyao, bicker and physically clash, fighting over your affection and protection. The queen’s bodyguard, Sha Yue’er, becomes disciple #3 and plays the straight-man in the three stooges act, crafting a brilliant dynamic. The Queen, Ming Kong, is always sultry. Evil leader, Liu Niang, is hard to resist. And the fox demon, Sun Qinglian, invades dreams and is consistently affectionate. The 7th wheel is the Fairy Lianxian, who does not get enough screen time.

There is a strong romance focus, with choices that lead to closeness. The dreams are awesome, as they slow things down and turn the romance up to 11, with interesting third-person camera angles. All actresses are tremendous, despite being new to the FMV space. And the sets, outfits, and props are also excellent, but it does use ADR.

Favor levels and Buddha points lead to respectable endings; with individual and group finales like God Bless or Goddess, only longer and more satisfying. Map scenes require you to pick companions, locking out others. It takes 3.3 hours to finish and 8 to see everything. Choices do not propagate forward, so if you change something in chapter 1, you must go through all scenes. English subtitles are poor, but improved subs are available and recommended.